The Passing of My Father

Blog world friends,

As I'm sure you noticed, over the last few months I have not been blogging.  My attention has been focussed on my family:  my father's serious illness and my newborn son.  

It is with great sadness that I share the news that my wonderful sweet Dad has died while awaiting organ transplantation.  It was a beautiful death surrounded by friends and family just as he wished.   

My Dad was a spectacular person who gave his life to the service of others.  He was always my greatest cheerleader and maintained an optimistic attitude throughout his illness.  We are grateful that my Dad's first organ transplant gave us 15 years with him (he had a rare disease that required transplantation) and held out hope that a second one would be possible.  It was not to be.  

My amazing father--
always a smile on his face

Could you please become an organ donor?  There are so many families waiting and not enough organs to save their family members' lives.  

Please click on the following link to register:  http://donatelife.net/register-now/

Fondly,

Dr. Cat

Twelve Tips to Survive the Holiday Food Season!! :-)

Well its that holiday time of year and many of my dear compulsive overeater friends and myself are facing the Thanksgiving to Christmas food season.  Its a happy time of year but it can also be really stressful!  No matter how much you love your family, the social pressures around the holiday (buy more! eat more! decorate more!) just are enormous this time of year.  Its no wonder it is so easy to find yourself significantly larger by the end of December!  Then January hits and you are in a mad panic to "re-start."  What if we skipped that this year & stayed healthy throughout the season?!

Last year when the blog was fresh and new I did a blog post on how I survive the holiday season by sharing a few tips on how to manage my desire to overeat.  The nice thing about having this disease of compulsive overeating is that the tools that bring me sanity don't change that much--its just that I sometimes forget to use them!  So these tips are pretty much as true today as they were a year ago!!!!! That said, if you are anything like me, you need reminders (frequent reminders in my case!) of how to manage food sanely.  And so, I'm going to re-post that old post in the hopes you will find it as helpful as I did when I just re-read it!!  I won't be facing the same challenges as last year--I'm at home on maternity leave instead of working so I'm not inundated with baked goods daily the way I was last year--but I WILL be attending my work's holiday party (baby in tow) so these tips are helpful for me too!   

So wishing you all a healthy and happy December!  I hope you enjoy this post:

Originally posted December 15, 2011.......

Ok so this time of year is always a challenge!  For goodness sake, I work in healthcare--the land of drug rep holiday gift baskets & nurse's homemade treats!  Anyone who has ever worked in health care can attest to the volume of unhealthy food available to you during the whole month of December!  I think that this is pretty much the same for ALL of you out there--whether you work in healthcare or not!  And then there are the parties!  And family dinners!  Ack--no wonder everyone starts January with all those weight loss resolutions!

So I'm not perfect (by any small stretch of the imagination) but since the holiday season was my favorite binge-worthy, full-of-excuses extravaganza--I use a few tried and true techniques I use to stay on track despite the UNBELIEVABLE temptations everywhere!! (I literally just had leave the room averting my eyes from the table here at work to avoid some of my favorite sweets displayed in the nursing workroom)

Here are a few Tips to Survive the Holidays based on what I do!  Scroll down to the end for details after this list!  As always, take what you like & leave the rest.

1) Use the "One Plate Method" of eating at all events involving food

2) Call ahead to events so you can plan your food strategy & if appropriate, offer to bring a dish

3) Talk about "allergies"

4) Make sure to have a lot of yummy meals on hand at home (your FAVORITES) throughout this season so you never feel deprived.

5)  Eat at home before food events and eat the foods from Tip #4!

6) Become willing to believe that there is NO SUCH THING as "one bite" or "just a little taste" or "just this one time" or "I don't want to offend anyone by not eating this lovely meal."

7)  Use your resources

8)  Remember the point of a party

9)  Leave

10) If you slip once, get right back up and march on as if it didn't happen!

11) Make new traditions that don't involve food

12) Be realistic

Ok!  Here are a few explanations of the above suggestions:

1) The One Plate Method

• At all parties with appetizers, don't just eat off the trays.  Ask your host for a small salad plate or saucer & fill it up ONCE with samples of the appetizers (this is a MAJOR issue for me).  Eat slowly and try to talk a lot so there is still food on your plate until the cocktail hour ends.  If you end before, you give the plate back and ignore the food completely.  See Tips 7, 8 & 9 below.
• At dinner, get ONE dinner plate & that is your plate for the evening.  You can fill it with whatever you want but no piling on.  Once it is filled, you are done.  No seconds. No bread at the table (unless you leave a space on your plate for it). 
• At dessert, if you don't eat sugar than have a cup of coffee or tea and sip.  Leave the table as soon as possible.  Sometimes I go to the restroom to avoid the majority of the dessert time because pies are a major weakness for me (I had to do this myself at Thanksgiving this year).  Or if its close family or friends, I help clear the dinner plates & stay in the kitchen to give them the gift of washing the dishes for half the dessert time so the host can come back to a clean kitchen.  When everyone is done eating or nearly done, I slip back in and can still have social time.  If anyone asks me what I'm doing or if I'm ok, I rarely mention that I'm avoiding dessert b/c that starts a huge conversation on it.  I usually smile and say, "Oh I'm just trying to help out a bit" or "Oh I'm fine, how are you? (and then turn the conversation to them).
• Try to keep an eye on your alcohol consumption--it really makes it easier to eat foods you cannot eat reasonably.  Practice Tip #7 for this challenge.

2) Call ahead & if appropriate, offer to bring a dish

• If its a big sit-down thing--like a dinner party where it would be really obvious that I'm not eating what others are eating, I call the host/hostess/organizer ahead of time.  I say:  "I just wanted to call you because I wanted to let you know ahead of time that I have a lot of allergies & food intolerances so I may not eat everything you serve. I want to make sure that you know so I don't offend you!  I'm so sorry!"  I'm really looking forward to the event!"  This works very well to reduce any discomfort at the event and it helps me plan.  Usually, either the host lets me know what they are serving (and I can plan accordingly and eat in advance if necessary) or they accept my offer to let me bring something to contribute to the meal.
• When I'm going to a more formal event, I call ahead and ask the event planner (caterer, etc) what they are planning on serving.  I say:  "I have a lot of allergies and I just want to make sure whether I need to eat in advance or it will be ok to eat what you are serving!"  I try to be very polite and appreciative of the information.  
• When I'm going to a work party I usually offer to bring food I know I can eat, if they say no, I eat before
• When going to friend's of family they usually know my "allergies" or food restrictions so I can plan with them what to eat in advance.  I suggest to my sponsees that they call ahead and honestly ask one person (preferably the host) to help them.  For example, you could ask your Aunt to not leave you alone with the cookie tray or have someone else serve the foods that you have a hard time with.  Simple things like that make a difference.  My family still does the big traditional meals and I happily attend.  It isn't my job to tell others how to eat, its my job to maintain my own recovery.  So I just make sure I've brought food that I know I can eat & focus on that. 
• If you ARE the host, be smart.  DON'T plan to serve dishes that are big problems for you.  Get creative & skip the traditional options.  If you have to serve dishes that are traditional & you aren't able/willing to change the menu than ask for help.  (For example, if you ARE the host & have an issue with sugar, ask someone else to serve dessert & pack it up immediately after dessert &  give it to your guests to take home with them.) 
• The KEY to ALL Food Planning at the Holidays is SUBSTITUTION!  Try to find foods you are comfortable with to substitute for other foods.  For example, I may do the mashed potatoes (if vegan) instead of the sweet potato casserole (covered in marshmellows).  Or at dessert, I may bring a tasty, sugar-free treat (see blog list below for recipes) to have while everyone else eats the high-fat non-vegan stuff (note: always bring enough of that treat to share!) 

3) Talk about "allergies"

• If there is a food that makes you feel sick afterwards (i.e. you can't eat one chocolate so you eat the whole pound of fudge and then you feel uncomfortably full afterwards), guess what, I'd say you are allergic to it! Food cravings often are medically attached to allergy.
• So feel free to say things like "I'm allergic to..." & "I have a sensitivity to ...." so I don't eat it. 
• Its much harder for people to pressure you into eating if you use this term.  And it IS honest--you ARE allergic!  My allergies to food range from an actual dairy allergy (rash & headache) to "gluten-intolerance" which I explain flares my neck pain.

4) Make sure to have a lot of yummy meals on hand at home (your FAVORITES) throughout this season so you never feel deprived.

• Make a list of your favorite healthy foods & make sure they are in your house fully stocked.
• Do not do what I used to do and rely on parties to fuel my appetite (justification: free food!) OR be so busy getting all the gifts etc that I don't stop to eat at home.
• Plan your food for the week as usual and make grocery shopping and cooking happen ahead of time.  This is a good time to cook in bulk and freeze for reheating after a chaotic day.
• MAKE YOUR HEALTH THE PRIORITY--What are you going to do if gifts don't get wrapped properly or you've been running all over and still can't find the right toy of your kids' dream?  Guess what--I've discovered that no one really cares or remembers--if you pop your gift in a gift bag it is ok (not perfect of course--once again perfection=impossible) & your kid will forget that toy until January when they will be ecstatic when you surprise them with a late gift.  Trust me.  What you WILL care about & remember is feeling awful on December 26th.  And you will always remember starting the slow climb of self-punishment with a week of negative self-talk before Jan 1st starts your new resolution. So STOP and put your health first before errands or people-pleasing. (This has been an ongoing challenge for me which is why I share it!)

5)  Eat at home before food events and eat the foods from Tip #4!

• This is where calling ahead REALLY is helpful! 
• If there is the potential for you to be unable to eat 50% of the meal--eat a FULL meal of your FAVORITE food before you leave.  Not some dinky bowel of cereal--trust me, if you eat something you aren't enthusiastic about before you leave, you WILL want desperately to eat toxic things at the event.
• If you anticipate that you will be able to eat more than 50% of what you are served eat a snack & pack a small ziploc of emergency snacks and put it in your coat pocket or purse to access if needed.
• Pick things to eat with lots of fiber so you actually ARE full!

6) Become willing to believe that there is NO SUCH THING as "one bite" or "just a little taste" or "just this one time" or "I don't want to offend anyone by not eating this lovely meal."

• Just don't do it.  Those phrases are lies we tell ourselves that allow our disease to take over and make us sick.  Don't take that first bite or taste.  I use my Higher Power & my OA friends to get me through (see Tip #7).  Choose what YOU need and use it.
• If you feel like you are about to cave in to that temptation voice, then practice Tip #9 below.

7)  Use your resources

• Get a buddy.  Call them before and after the party and txt or call them halfway through if its a HIGH temptation situation.  This may seem extreme but you'll feel so much better knowing someone is there to support you if you can't get the support from the other party members.
• If you get a specific enough menu, write down what you are going to eat and only eat that at the party.  Commit it to someone else.  It helps.

8)  Remember the point of a party

• If its a purely social event that you look forward to--focus on your friends instead of the food.  Be a good listener & ask them questions.  Give them your FULL attention (this may be the first time you've done this!).  Not only will you avoid the distraction of food but you will give them the gift of your genuine interest in who and how THEY are. 
• If you notice someone new at a party, be kind.  Go up to them and introduce them to others.  What does this have to do with food?  All service to others gets us out of our heads and away from our disease of overeating.
• If its a work party--its really about networking, not about eating.  Once again, focus your attention on others. Everyone likes to talk about themself.  You'll be surprised at how much a relationship can change by practicing this--people love undivided attention.  And you can really be of kind service.
• If its a party you DREAD (an obligatory event) or find uncomfortable, once again focus on others BUT before the party write down a gratitude list for the event and keep it scrolling in your brain so you don't pout internally and seek food for comfort. For example: "I'm grateful for not having to sit next to John because he yells in my ear when he talks.  I'm grateful that this event is only once a year...etc"

9)  Leave

• If you feel unsteady, emotional or are seriously craving food you see, do not hesitate to:
• Leave the room
• Leave the house/building
• Leave the event (if it is absolutely killing you not to eat it).  Explain later.

10) If you slip once, get right back up and march on as if it didn't happen!

• I've been taught that no one is perfect and it is impossible to attain perfection.  Period.
• If you eat something you know is toxic for you, make the next meal a good one.  NEVER say "well this day/week is over!  Might as well eat what I want, I'll start eating better next week!"

11) Make new traditions that don't involve food

• Make dough ornaments or homemade gifts instead of cookies with the kids (see my post: here)
• Change your gift giving: I don't give candy or sweets as gifts--choose something non-edible or healthy.  I really feel like I'm harming others by giving them potentially addictive substances.
• Go on a holiday hike or ice skate or do anything active with friends instead of a happy hour or party if you think either of those events will be an issue.
• Try new recipes from:
• The Fat Free Vegan
• The Happy Herbivore
• Healthy Girl's Kitchen
• AWESOME Holiday Menu Ideas from Mrs McDougall (Dr. McDougall's wife :-))
• Vegan Epicurean
• Robin Robertson's Vegan Planet
• Simply Sugar & Gluten Free
• Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn: Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease
• Forks Over Knives Recipe Book!
• The Anti-Inflammatory Diet by Jessica Black, N.D. (Amazon link)
• Dr. Joel Fuhrman's Blog

***Remember that you are modelling behavior for your (and other people's) kids.  Help them stay healthy--try to ignore the pleas for candy (SO much easier said than done!) and spend time with them doing other activites instead.  It'll keep the candy out of the house (good for you and for them) AND reduce the temper tantrums and crankiness when they are coming down from a sugar high! It is so so much more peaceful without the sugar, it is truly unbelievable! Try it and see!***

12) Be Realistic

• If you deprive yourself none of these methods will work.  
• Be gentle with yourself, restrict ONLY certain foods not EVERYTHING unhealthy.
• Remember you are not on a diet.  Diets don't work in my experience.  Healthy living is forever. 

Ok!  I hope this LOONNNGGG post is helpful! 

What strategies do YOU use?:-)  More ideas are always welcome!!

The medical information on this site is provided as an information resource only, and is not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes. This information is not intended to be patient education, does not create any patient-physician relationship, and should not be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis and treatment.  Please consult your health care provider before making any healthcare decisions or for guidance about a specific medical condition. The Happy Rehab Doc expressly disclaims responsibility, and shall have no liability, for any damages, loss, injury, or liability whatsoever suffered as a result of your reliance on the information contained in this site.  By visiting this site you agree to the foregoing terms and conditions.

Struggling With Loved Ones' Choices: A Guest Post from The Happy Nurse

It's the Happy Nurse (the Happy Rehab Doc’s husband) here with a little post.

I'm Canadian yet I've lived and worked in the U.S. since the mid 1990's. My parents are retired and like so many Canadian seniors they head to warmer locations for the winter. We had the good fortune of having them here with us over Christmas this year, as they stopped in on the drive south. Unfortunately my father had some chest pain on Christmas day and spent a few days in the hospital having labs and other tests performed.

I spend my working life taking care of patients immediately after open heart surgery. I'm a critical care nurse and enjoy the challenge of open heart, trauma and ER. In short I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie. I like having to make quick choices and having to be really good at my job. Yet I still know that however many numbers I'm looking at, however many labs I'm reviewing, however many xrays I look at, it's always some one's mother, father, son or daughter. I think that the real strength of my job is being able to blend the technology with the person. Medicine is both art and science. When we bring the two together we are much more successful than either alone.

This time it was my father lying on the hospital bed waiting to find out if he was going to be ok. All the knowledge I have doesn't change the heart ache of seeing him and my mother scared. It's debilitating. I find myself having a very difficult time being objective. I try to remember this sensation, the fear, the helplessness, when I care for patients. If I do then maybe I can ease the pain of another family.

My father is a wonderful man. I have learned so much from him about how to live, give and love. It hurts to see him and my mother worrying about what will happen. I wish so much I could take that pain and worry away. My father also eats poorly. He smokes and doesn't exercise very much. I do my best to help him make better decisions but they are his to make.

I'll always love him no matter what he chooses. I know that others out there struggle with loved ones who make poor choices, I see it at work every day. I know your pain and I share your prayers. Thank goodness everything worked out and he was discharged to continue the trip.

I can't control or force him to change. I can try to lead by example. I can make sure he sees how much happier and healthier I am when I choose to eat vegan. When I choose to get on the rower rather than the sofa. When I celebrate life by living it to its fullest. I have my own health challenges. I have years of poor choices including what and how I ate to overcome. Today I choose to try to be an example to myself and my family.

MONDAY MEDITATIONS FOR HEALING: A Commitment to Self for Caregivers & The Time is Now

Good Morning!  

Here is today's meditation to inspire your spirit to self-healing this week!  

Have a WONDERFUL week!

Today's Quote 

"Never imagine that there will be time later to accomplish something, because that later time will turn out to have been yesterday."


~Valerie Jenkins, age seventy-four
from "30 Lessons for Living: Tried & True Advice from the Wisest Americans" by Dr. Karl Pillemer

A Commitment to Self for Caregivers 

(whether you are a healthcare provider or a family member caring for a loved one): 

Caring for others makes it easy to shelve our dreams in favor of someone else's comfort.  Sacrificing everything for others sounds good on paper but in real life it builds resentments and can poison even the sweetest hearts to bitterness.   

This week I will remember that even though I spend my days and nights caring for others I still need to keep my OWN dreams alive. 


With that in mind, I will pause for a moment today and write down a dream I have packed away as I've cared for others.  


Then I will make a list of small things I can do everyday to keep moving towards that dream, no matter what.  


I commit to do this for myself because I know that there may not be enough tomorrows to make my dream come true if I don't start today.
  

Tip #10 For The Best Hospital Care: Try Not To Be Alone ~ Insider Tips on How to Get the BEST Medical Care in the Hospital ~

Today we are concluding the series on How To Get The BEST Medical Care In The Hospital:  Insider Tips!  As always, this post is written to "you" but it can be equally applied to any family member or loved one. 


Tip#10:  Try Not to Be Alone!


The best piece of advice that I can give you is if you are sick enough to stay more than one night at the hospital, try to never be alone for long periods of time.  Try to have family members, friends, etc with you as close to around the clock as possible.  Don't have them come visit in a big group--that is a waste because their visits are more helpful if they spread out and give you coverage for longer periods of time.  Have them visit in small trickles throughout the day (and night for that matter).  

One way to spread a stream of visitors out is to explain the importance of shifts to everyone, have a point person volunteer and actually set up an email list or formal schedule for people.  This is what my own family did when my family member was in the hospital last month (the event that inspired me to write this series!) Unfortunately we as a family have had many hospitalizations & over time, creating a visitor scheduling system has become routine.

By making a formal schedule, it allowed my family member not to be alone & allowed each of us family members to manage our personal lives & keep working.  Important caveat--the family should actively encourage your primary caretaker (husband, daughter/son, parent) to try to minimize the time they need to spend at the hospital.  While you are in the hospital, it is an important opportunity to give your spouse or child or parent a good rest before you come home & they will be responsible for your care.  So ask for help from your church, synagogue, mosque, spiritual center, social club or network of friends instead.  Try to arrange to have someone looking in on you about every 2-3 hours.  

I recommend that you keep a notebook in the room that all the visitors should use to write down important things--like what doctors come into the room, any procedures that you get taken to, or anything nursing says that would be important to pass on to the next visitor (i.e.--nurse:  we need to keep an eye on her constipation.  You write down: f/u constipation.  Then the next person looks at the notes and sees they should remind you to ask the nurse about the plan for reducing your constipation).  My father has frequently been very ill--I have a large family & we practice this technique when he is in the hospital since we literally take turns sitting bedside & the notebook allows us to share what the doctor said on the first person's visiting shift so the last person's visiting shift knows what is going on! 

The notebook should have all important info clipped to it inside the front cover--like who your doctors are AND your Medical Info Sheet that we discussed here in Tip #4!

If you have a large enough family or friends and you feel comfortable asking, I encourage you to see if its possible to have one of them take turns spending the night.  


If you can't get anyone, and you are pretty sick than hiring a private-duty aide to sit with you during the night is worth the investment if you can afford it.  


If you are a family member caring for an elderly patient susceptible to dementia or confusion than I can't encourage you strongly enough to hire someone if you possibly can!! That aide however is not paid to watch TV--they are paid to let you sleep quietly, check on how you are doing, re-orient you to reality calmly and GENTLY if you are confused & be the family's eyes and ears.  Sometimes it is not possible to have someone stay over but I would lobby hard (AND BE VERY VERY NICE when asking) if it isn't usual hospital policy.

Remind everyone that you need to rest and your visitor point-person should emphasize this as well.  A hospital is for healing, not a party.  Please be respectful of other patient's needs as well. The point person should suggest that people bring a book or magazine to read, a laptop, a musical device with headphones, etc so you don't need to talk for most of the visit.  While they are in your room they shouldn't be talking on their cell phone or making a lot of noise.  Their purpose is to give you the gift of their time to help staff caring for you be able to perform to the best of their abilities.   

***KEY:  Do not allow visitors to interrupt the hospital routine.  When the nurse comes in to give you your meds, change your wound dressing, give you an enema or any other indelicate thing that your really don't want your family or friends to see, do NOT tell the nurse to "come back later."  You have to be a teammate remember--keep them on schedule & it will be to YOUR benefit-- you'd be surprised how many things about your care get missed as they are passed on to the next nursing shift if the nurse wasn't able to execute your care on schedule!***

See here for questions that your visitors should remind you to ask staff EVERY DAY & things to bring to staff attention.  Always remind who ever comes that it is critical they behave politely and respectfully towards staff members (see my post Tip #8).  To behave otherwise WILL reflect on you and affect your care. Remind your visitors that the staff is very busy and has other patients in addition to you.  If the visitor can safely & comfortably do a task for you--i.e. get you a washcloth and help you wash your face, pass you your urinal & dispose of the results, etc--than they will endear themselves to the staff to no end! 

That said however, don't let staff disappear on you just because you have someone in your room (it happens sometimes, especially if you are a family member & a healthcare person like me or my husband).  If you have waited a reasonable amount of time for a nurse/tech to respond (15 mins or so) and no one has come, then send your visitor to the main desk to ask for assistance. (Visitor Tip:  just standing at the nurses station can be quite a motivator for the administrative assistant or other nurses--wait there in full view until someone comes to assist your loved one..)  In fact, I recommend sending your visitor to the desk for help first instead of you buzzing your call light, but either method is ok. 


Ok!  This concludes this Tip AND this series!!  I hope that this series will help you and your loved ones get outstanding care & make you feel empowered with understanding about how hospitals work.  


It has been a pleasure to share this information with you--please update me in the comments if you have used these techniques & let me know whether they work for you & your family!!


Here are all the previous posts in this series:  

Tip #1: Be a Teammate & Tip #2: Be concise & organized: http://happyrehabdoc.blogspot.com/2011/11/how-to-get-best-medical-care-insider.html

Tip #3:  Key Questions to Ask Your Doctor: http://happyrehabdoc.blogspot.com/2011/11/tip-3-key-question-to-ask-doctor-in.html

Tip #4:  Know Yourself--How to Make a Medical Info Sheet:  http://happyrehabdoc.blogspot.com/2011/11/tip-4-key-things-you-need-to-know-about.html

Tip #5: Know the Hospital Routine: http://happyrehabdoc.blogspot.com/2011/11/tip-5-what-is-hospital-routine-part-4a.html

Tip #6:  Know the Role Everyone Plays in the Health Care Team: http://happyrehabdoc.blogspot.com/2011/11/tip-6-know-role-that-each-person-plays.html

Tip #7:  Know Your Doctors: http://happyrehabdoc.blogspot.com/2011/11/tip-7-know-your-doctors-short-guide-to.html

Tip #8:  Be Nice!  http://happyrehabdoc.blogspot.com/2011/12/tip-8-for-best-hospital-care-be-nice.html  

Tip #9: PAY ATTENTION!! http://happyrehabdoc.blogspot.com/2011/12/tip-9-pay-attention-more-insider-tips.html

Coming Up:

• SuperImmunity for Kids ~Part 2~!
• A Truly Healthy New Year
• Treating Pain with Food--more thoughts

The medical information on this site is provided as an information resource only, and is not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes. This information is not intended to be patient education, does not create any patient-physician relationship, and should not be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis and treatment.  Please consult your health care provider before making any healthcare decisions or for guidance about a specific medical condition. The Happy Rehab Doc expressly disclaims responsibility, and shall have no liability, for any damages, loss, injury, or liability whatsoever suffered as a result of your reliance on the information contained in this site.  By visiting this site you agree to the foregoing terms and conditions.

Tip #8 For The Best Hospital Care: Be Nice ~ Insider Tips on How to Get the BEST Medical Care in the Hospital ~

Today we continue our series on how to get the best hospital care--this post is pretty much common sense but you would be surprised at how easy it is to have The Golden Rule disappear out the window in crisis.  The purpose of this series however is for you to learn how to get the BEST hospital care, and if I didn't mention this than I would be remiss in achieving this goal.  


Please be nice is the FIRST & strongest piece of advice I gave my hospitalized family member AND all other members of my family.  So they were nice and things went a lot better (nurses gave quick assistance with a smile & physicians spent longer time in the room).  Take this advice to heart--if you do nothing else, follow this tip!


Tip #8:  Be Nice:  One of my Mom's best friends always said: "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."  This REALLY applies in the hospital setting.  I realize that when your are sick you don't feel much like "making nice" and when you are worried about your family you "just want answers." But the reality of the situation is that medical personnel are just that--people! 

Every person wants to be treated with courtesy and you WILL get better & more responsive care if you are kind to the nurses/physicians/techs/cleaning persons/administrative assistants/social workers/dietary staff.  

I know (from being on the patient side of things) that some staff members don't return the favor & this may not seem fair.  To be honest, I had to sometimes ACTIVELY tell myself not to snap at people last week as I sat with my sick family member.  I kept reminding myself of the following key point:  most staff members are not actively trying to be rude--they are stressed, they are understaffed & they are trying to please a lot of different people at once.  By surprising them by being nice, they will look forward to coming into your room--this translates into more attentive care.

With regards to the nursing staff & techs--one last thought.  Please remember not to treat them like they are your servant & remember that you are not their only patient.  Don't "speak down to them."  If you need something within your own reach & you are well enough than get it (*without doing anything you were told NOT to do by the nurse/doc*), than do it for yourself. 

• Please don't be like a patient I saw the other night who had the staff running in and out of the room trying to please her requests.  The evening culminated in her asking me to comb her hair & get her skin cream for her even though both items were on the tray in front of her & she was more than capable to do so herself.  I had to sit down & talk to her about the importance of bundling her requests & asking only for things that she cannot do herself so the staff could do their job for all the other patients on the floor.  After the explanation she seemed to understand & the staff enjoyed caring for her much more!  

That said, there are limits to this suggestion. If you believe that someone is actually actively being harmful to your or your family members than ABSOLUTELY you should stop them firmly & ask to talk to the nurse manager or patient care advocate immediately.  If its an issue with a doctor you can "ask for a second opinion."  Just no matter how angry you are, take a deep breath & ask nicely--things will get fixed a lot faster.

Coming Up Next Time on Medical System Tuesday: 

• Tip #9 For The Best Hospital Care:  Pay Attention ~ Insider Tips on How to Get the BEST Medical Care in the Hospital ~

Coming Up This Week:

• BOOK REVIEW:  "29 Gifts!"
• SuperImmunity for Kids ~Part 2~!
• Practical Stuff:  Kitchen Tools That Help & Products I Like!!

The medical information on this site is provided as an information resource only, and is not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes. This information is not intended to be patient education, does not create any patient-physician relationship, and should not be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis and treatment.  Please consult your health care provider before making any healthcare decisions or for guidance about a specific medical condition. The Happy Rehab Doc expressly disclaims responsibility, and shall have no liability, for any damages, loss, injury, or liability whatsoever suffered as a result of your reliance on the information contained in this site.  By visiting this site you agree to the foregoing terms and conditions.

How To Get The BEST Medical Care: Insider Tips From A Doc! Part 1: In the Hospital!

If you ever expect to be in the hospital or expect to have a family member in the hospital than I strongly encourage you to read this series of posts & email them to your family & friends.  I'm not writing about food or nutrition or weight loss here but this post IS about HEALTH.  I'm writing this post on hospitals instead of my planned "outpatient tips" because I had a family member in the hospital last week and the whole experience made me realize how confusing the hospital is to everyone but us healthcare providers!!


Before I get to far into this post I want to say two things.

First, if you are one of my doctor/nurse/ancillary staff readers, please feel free to add any other "insider" tips to the comments to be of service to other readers.


Second, when I say, "how to get the BEST medical care" I am NOT saying that we are not trying our best to care for you!!  I am just letting you know a few simple ways to allow your doctors & nurses (and everyone else who cares for you) to perform to the best of their abilities.  At our best we can treat you more effectively & provide you with care beyond our usual high standard.


I planned to make this a single post at first but there is SO much information to share about how to navigate the hospital system that I'm breaking this up in to FIVE posts. As a side note--I don't particularly like the way this all works, but its the system we currently have & I want you to all get the best out of it!

Here are Tips #1 & #2 to get the BEST medical care during a hospital stay: 

Tip #1: Be a teammate:  The only information about your history that we know is what you tell us.  Be an active participant in your care--this is a team effort.  It may not seem that way because since we docs do have definite opinions after spending >12 years in school/training.  But this is your body & you need to take responsibility as well.  


Ask questions (See below on how to organize these questions to get the MOST data).  Understand what is going on and why different tests are being done.  ASK the KEY questions I list in TIP #3 (next time).  The most important thing is to be prepared, organized & concise (see my points below).  Write things down. THIS IS A TEAM EFFORT!!


Tip #2:  Be concise & be organized:  
The key to all hospital communication is "keep it short."   


How can you interact with physicians to get the best care AND get a good understanding of what is going on?:


On admission:  

• Bring the Meds, Allergies & Past Medical History documents I suggest (in tomorrow's post) & have the doc/staff make a copy.  Say that all the background information they need is on those sheets.
• If you have time en route to the hospital (& you or your family member is able to do so): jot down a quick timeline of all the events that led to you needing to go to the hospital. 
• Example:  Monday my stomach started hurting.  It was a stabbing pain in the left side of my belly.  Tuesday I began to vomit dark material.  Wednesday I fell because I was lightheaded and then we came to the hospital

In the hospital:

• Pick ONE spokesperson for the family.  This person is the point person for the family & will communicate all information to other family members.  Try to have this person be the only one who speaks during conversations with the doc.  The spokesperson can be YOU if you are the patient & want to be the one asking the questions.
• Put together a master list of all the questions you & your family have for the doctor. **Make sure you ask the KEY questions I list in tomorrow's post if they are relevant to your situation.** 
• After writing out all you can, prioritize them.  What do you need to know IMMEDIATELY?  What do you need to know eventually?  What do you need to know before the patient leaves? 
• Then go through the list & edit it again making EACH questions as short as possible.  
• If there are questions on there about patient care, ask your nurse (once again briefly) whether you should ask the nurse about these questions or the doctor.  
• If there are questions about what happens when you get home, save them for the social worker at first & if he/she doesn't have the answer, ask your doctor the next time you see them.   
• Pick the HIGH PRIORITY questions to ask the doctor when they see you in their morning "rounds." Give these questions to your spokesperson (this may be YOU if you are the patient!)
•  If you have a complaint, share it after you get the first two key questions done or your entire conversation with the doc will be about that & you will be wasting important data-gathering time.

Important FYI: The doctors will visit all their patients in the morning usually between 6am-10am.  These visits are called "rounds" or "rounding."  If they are a surgeon it will be earlier. If they are in a teaching hospital, the resident will come in early.  If its a community hospital, expect between 8-10am. If a family member wants to ask questions then make sure they are bedside with the patient during these times.


Within a short time period, we docs have to see all our patients & then focus on our sickest ones.  Sometimes we have to attend to our sickest folks first, delaying rounding on everyone else.  This is the way it works. Maybe someday this will change, but this is how the system runs now. 


Do not expect a doc to be able to have a prolonged conversation in the morning.


If you are stable, you may not see the doc again that day.  This may seem strange & honestly, its not really our preference (we'd prefer to see patients more often but it just isn't possible with our workload).  Just know that we are continuing to monitor you throughout the day and remember that everything is a balance between all our patients.  


If your/your family member's condition is serious or the patient is in the ICU or in Rehab, ask for a "family meeting" to be scheduled with the doc to provide a thorough discussion of what is going on with the patient with the whole family present.


Next Post:  How To Get The BEST Medical Care: Insider Tips From A Doc! Tips #3 &4: Key Question to Ask the Doctor in the Hospital & Key Things You Need to Know About Yourself!! (Part 2 of 5)


Coming Up AFTER Thanksgiving:

• SuperImmunity Foods for KIDS (Calling All PARENTS!)
• RECIPES & Ideas: Snacks!  YUMMY & Portable Plant-Based Snack Food--all sugar-free, gluten-free & without adding oil or fat!!

The medical information on this site is provided as an information resource only, and is not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes. This information is not intended to be patient education, does not create any patient-physician relationship, and should not be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis and treatment.  Please consult your health care provider before making any healthcare decisions or for guidance about a specific medical condition. The Happy Rehab Doc expressly disclaims responsibility, and shall have no liability, for any damages, loss, injury, or liability whatsoever suffered as a result of your reliance on the information contained in this site.  By visiting this site you agree to the foregoing terms and conditions.